"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit Obama's national debt." -- Tip o'the hat to Herbert HooverPresident Obama Tax Jokes
Based on his performance in office so far, President Obama should do just fine on his future tax returns. After all, he will be able to write off his second term.
It's too bad that we can't buy stock in the federal tax system. With Obama as president that will be only thing sure to go up.
President Obama is angrily calling for more federal tax increases. He just heard from his advisors that some American taxpayers weren't completely broke yet.
The best things in life are free but President Obama's tax advisors are working hard trying to solve that problem.
Barack Obama isn't planning on buying TurboTax®. Obama can turbocharge our taxes all by himself.
President Obama's tax return should list Bill Ayers and Reverend Wright as dependents.
President Obama plans to start printing income tax forms on Kleenex, so it will be easier for us to pay through the nose.
President Obama has just announced that he has a new plan to simplify the tax code. From now on only the Republicans will have to have to pay any taxes.
Q. Who should be listed as the most expensive dependent on your tax return?
A. President Obama.
President Obama will make it a lot easier for most people to do their income taxes next year. No jobs, no income.
Under Obama everyone in America will be working for the government. Democrats will be on the payrolls and Republicans will be on the tax rolls.
In the interest of full disclosure, President Obama's should declare all of the fawning media coverage he's received so far as a gift on his tax return.
Despite what some people are claiming, this country is just as free under the Obama presidency as it ever was . . . unless you happen to be a taxpayer.
If President Obama listed free enterprise on his tax return, it would have to be listed as a liability. That's because he just writes it off.
Today the IRS released new guidelines on how to avoid audits while Obama is the president. Number one - Don't list excessive deductions. Number two - File your return on time. Number three - Register to vote as a Democrat.
Judging by his wild spending so far, President Obama has apparently decided that it is easier to trim the taxpayers than to trim federal spending.
Don't think of it as paying more taxes. Think of it as giving Obama a big tip.
Thanks to President Obama we will become a more honest people. Once we're all jobless there won't be any point in lying on our tax returns.
Next year's "stimulus" tax return will fit on a postcard.
How much money did you make? __________
Mail it in.
President Obama intends to reward ambition. With higher taxes.
President Obama's First Day
The Obama Economy is So Bad...
The Obama economy is so bad...that Chris Matthews' leg has quit tingling.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Rush Limbaugh is smoking Swisher Sweets.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the Grey Poupon guy has switched to French's.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the White House china is actually being made in China.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the President is changing his slogan to "Hope and Spare Change!"
The Obama economy is so bad...that Nancy Pelosi is selling earmarks for 1/2 price.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Saturday Night Live is thinking about telling an Obama joke.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the President is running a small business on the side. It's called GM.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Rosie O'Donnell is losing weight.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Kenya now claims he wasn't born there.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Al Gore is selling carbon credits on late night television.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Bill Ayers has to make do with M-80s.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the White House plans to cut Hillary Clinton's hours.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Barack's pyramid is on hold.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Michelle fired her nanny and learned her children's names.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the airlines are installing pay toilets in coach.
The Obama economy is so bad...that you can order checks pre-marked "Insufficient Funds."
The Obama economy is so bad...that Congress is planning a spare change for clunkers program.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Americans are being caught sneaking into Mexico.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the Chicago mob is laying off judges.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Jesse Jackson is renting a limo.
The Obama economy is so bad...that it only takes one lick to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Motel Six won't leave the light on for you anymore.
The Obama economy is so bad...that they now ask at the burger counter, "Can you afford fries with that?"
The Obama economy is so bad...that the federal stimulus checks are bouncing.
The Obama economy is so bad...that banking executives are playing miniature golf.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the CEO of Wal-Mart was seen shopping at Wal-Mart.
The Obama economy is so bad...that one of the the best paying jobs nowadays is jury duty.
The Obama economy is so bad...that even people who aren't in the Cabinet have stopped paying taxes.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Michael Vick is working at Petco.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Al Sharpton cuts his own hair.
The Obama economy is so bad...that McDonald's has a layaway plan.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Bill Clinton watches scrambled porn.
The Obama economy is so bad…that John Edwards is cutting his own hair.
Tip o'the hat to Ian.
The Obama economy is so bad…that Obama is robbing Paul to pay Peter.
Tip o'the hat to Sarah.
The Obama economy is so bad…that Made In America stickers are now being made in China.
Tip o'the hat to William.
More President Obama Jokes
Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?
A. He thinks that things go better with coke.
Q. Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.
Now that Obama is the President you can still get ahead if you get up early in the morning, work late every day and hit the lottery.
Q. Why will Obama hold a séance once he's in the White House?
A. So that he can thank everybody who voted for him.
President elect Obama has arranged for his first meeting with foreign leaders from other countries to demonstrate his foreign policy expertise. It's scheduled to run for five minutes.
Q. What will America's national bird be when Obama takes office?
A. His middle finger.
Obama's staff is preparing for his first press conference as President. They're busy writing the questions.
Q. What will the difference be between President Obama and Karl Marx?
A. Nobody knows.
Unlike former Presidents, Obama is not a member of the NRA, National Rifle Association. He's joined William Ayers organization instead. The NBA, the National Bombers Association.
Q. Why won't President Obama have a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Vice President Biden will be out of town.
Between now and his inauguration as President on January 20th, Obama intends to clean out his Senate office. That is, if he can remember where it is.
Q. Why is the Secret Service installing lighting rods at the White House?
A. To protect President Obama as he takes his Oath of Office.
As President, Obama intends to run the country's finances just like he ran his household finances. He's got a book of blank checks.
Q. Why will Obama ride in the back of a Presidential limousine?
A. The Vatican wouldn't sell him a Pope-Mobile.
Q. How will President Obama oppose Russia's invasion of Georgia?
A. He'll send troops to Atlanta.
Q. Why will President Obama get a new puppy for the White House?
A. Joe Biden is getting on in years.
Q. What’s black and blue and dead all over?
A. Anyone who dares to tell a joke about President Obama in public.
Q. What do SIMBA and OBAMA have in common?
A. They're both cartoons.
Q. Why did President Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden?
A. He didn't want any bushes at the White House.
Q. What will President Obama replace the rose bushes with?
A. Opium poppies.
Q. How can you tell when Obama has been smoking dope?
A. He answers the door when the phone rings.
Q. Why did Obama think that he had campaigned in 57 states?
A. His heavy pot use has left him a brownie short of a full pan.
President Bill Clinton said, “I didn’t inhale.”President Barack Obama says, “I didn’t inject.”President Richard Nixon said “I am not a crook!”President Barack Obama says “I am not on crack!”President Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here!”President Barack Obama says, “Leave the bucks here!”
Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.
Vote for Barack Obama
Q. Why did Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy didn't want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why did Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.
Q. Why did Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why did Ho Chi Minh vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why did Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he was running out of George Bush jokes.
Q. Why did David Letterman vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he was running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes.
Q. Why did Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because she was running out of other crazy things to do.
Q. Why did Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Obama?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Did Senator Larry Craig vote for Barack Obama?
A. He stalled first.
Q. How did Osama Bin Laden vote for Barack Obama?
A. Absentee ballot.
Q. Why did Bill Ayers vote for Barack Obama?
A. Bill thinks Obama's the bomb.
