Proof that Barack is the Obamessiah


Obama preached to the multitude by the side of the lake.

Obama created new states from out of the void.

Obama turned whine into Kool-Aid® for his followers.

Obama came to us carried upon a donkey.

Obama triumphed over the beast, the enemy of all men.

Obama was stoned and yet he has risen.

Obama's flock has millions of sheep.

Obama will reign over us from a house with many rooms.

You must have no other candidates before Obama.

Obama will raise voters from the dead. Count on it.


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Obama Hymns

Barack Loves Thee

Barack loves Thee! This we know,
Katie Couric tells us so.
All our base to Him belong;
We are weak, but He is strong.

Yes, Barack loves Thee!
Yes, Barack loves Thee!
Yes, Barack loves Thee!
So do as you are told.

All Hail the Messiah

All hail the messiah Obama! Obama!
The path to the new socialist motherland!
Our savior, our savior Obama! Obama!
The leader more smarter than Lindsay Lohan!
Bow down and praise the One!
Give him your money and your guns!
Give us a country that makes your wife proud!
Lord Barry will heal the bitter ones!
Whites and Clinging to faith and guns!
Hope for the change of the hope of the change!

Holy, Holy, Holy

Holy, holy, holy! Obama Almighty!
On election day the dead will vote for Thee;
Holy, holy, holy, merciless and mighty!
The One now come in Person, for the DNC!

Holy, holy, holy! The MSM adores Thee,
Casting off their ethics and objectivity;
All of their reporters falling down before Thee,
They your willing servants evermore shall be.


Backwards Barack's Soldiers

Backwards, Barack's soldiers, retreat from the war,
With no preconditions going on before.
Barack, the new Commander, flees the ancient foe;
Leaves behind the battle, hear Him spinning go!

Pastor Wright and a Barack Obama arrived in Heaven at the same time. Saint Peter checked them both in and assigned them their rooms. "Pastor Wright, here is the key to one of our standard efficiency units. But for you, Mr. Obama, here's the  key to the finest penthouse suite in Heaven." "Why don't I get a penthouse too? I'm a minister!" Pastor Wright complained. "Think about it," Saint Peter replied, "There are plenty of ministers up here, but Obama is the first lawyer or politician we've ever seen."

Q. What do Obama Messiah followers drink?
A. Kool-Aid, of course.

Q. Why doesn't the Church of Obama Messiah light candles?
A. Obama wants to keep his followers in the dark.

Q. Why does Obama Messiah wear his hair so short?
A. So it won’t get tangled in his turban.

Q. Why will Obama Messiah remove the windows in the White House?
A. He'll replace them all with stained glass.

Q. Why didn’t Obama Messiah notice all of the terrible things Pastor Wright was saying?
A. He was too busy polishing his Halo.

Q. Why did Obama Messiah say that Americans are “bitter” and they “cling” to religion?
A.  The Devil made him do it.

Hillary wants socialism to go from the cradle to the grave. Obama Messiah wants it to go from conception through the resurrection.

Q. Why haven't Obama's followers demanded that his face be added to Mount Rushmore yet?
A. They're still trying to figure out how to carve a stone halo.

Q. What does the Obama Messiah say when someone sneezes?
A. I bless you.

Obama Christmas Jokes
'Twas the Night before Christmas in the White House
Tip o’the hat to Clement and Mitzi

‘Twas the night before Christmas in the White House
Not a creature was stirring, not even the louse
The stockings where hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that more money soon would be there
Obama was nestled all snug in his bed
While visions of unemployed danced in his head
Michelle in her 'kerchief, and Barack in Mao cap
Had just settled down for their long winter nap
When on the front lawn there arose such a clatter
Barack crawled from his bed to see what's the matter
Away to the window he made a quick dash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash
When what to his watery eyes should appear
But an old clunker sleigh and eight sickly reindeer
Santa said not a word, but continued his works
Stacking up earmarks and lobbyists’ perks
Santa looked straight at Obama and finally spoke
Thanks to you, Mr. President, now I'm flat broke
It took my life savings to pay my tax bill
And what I have left is just next to nil
I can't even afford to light up Rudolph’s red nose
With a flip of one finger up the chimney Santa rose
Then Santa exclaimed as he flew through the rain
Oh, how I wish our President's name was McCain

Obama isn't getting Hillary Clinton a present this year because she hasn't used the one he got her last Christmas. It was a cemetery plot.

Mail your packages early so that Obama's post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Tip o'the hat to Johnny Carson

This Christmas is expected to be one of the coldest on record. If it's cold enough, Obama might even keep his hands in his own pockets.

Q. What will Barack Obama get for Christmas?
A. Your job, your car and your house.

Q. Why did the Supreme Court block having a Nativity Scene displayed at the White House this year?
A. Plenty of donkeys, but no wise men.

If Obama promises to be good next year, maybe Santa will give him a clue for Christmas.

The 12 Days Of Obama

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