Welcome to the only REAL Barack Obama Jokes Website.
Don't be afraid to laugh at politically incorrect Obama jokes! Most of the Obama jokes on the Web are as mild as the softball questions Obama gets from the smitten reporters and reporterettes of the press.
Not here!
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Evan Bayh Obama Jokes
Why should Obama choose Evan Bayh for VP?
The name Birch Evans Bayh III makes Barack Hussein Obama sound almost normal.
Bayh is to married a former Miss Southern California beauty queen. Obama is married to a woman who wants to be queen.
Bayh doesn't use drugs so Barack's stash will be safe.
Bayh was born with a tiny silver spoon in his mouth. Obama had a tiny silver spoon on his neckchain.
They both have secret pasts. Obama's past is secret because he shredded the records. Bayh's is secret because nobody cares.
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Barack Obama's Fake Birth Certificate
Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He's deciding which of his names (Barack Barry Hussein Obama Soetoro) to put on it.
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Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. The ink isn't dry yet.
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Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. Hillary Clinton won't give it back to him.
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Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He wants to surprise us at his swearing in.
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Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He accidently smoked it.
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Q. Why won't Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It shows that he didn't have a virgin birth.
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Q. Why won't Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It got mixed in with his Rezko mortgage records and shredded.
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Racist Jokes about Obama
1. If you have ever chuckled at his middle name, you may be guilty of racist Obama jokes.
2. If you ever ridiculed the assertion that tire gauges lower gas prices, you may be guilty of racist Obama jokes.
3. If you ever laughed at the claim that he campaigned in 57 states, you may be guilty of racist Obama jokes.
4. If you ever suggested that the "Vero Possemus" campaign signs had something to do with possums, you may be guilty of racist Obama jokes.
5. If you ever downloaded the video of him bowling a 37 in front of reporters, you may be guilty of racist Obama jokes.
6. If you ever shared the video comparing him to Paris Hilton, you may be guilty of racist Obama jokes.
7. If you ever cracked wise about his cocaine use, you may be guilty of racist Obama jokes. (Joking about Dubya's alleged cocaine use is politically correct.)
8. If you ever made fun of his big ears, you may be guilty of Obama jokes. (Joking about Perot's big ears is politically correct.)
9. If you ever said that the look on his wife's face could curdle fresh milk, you may be guilty of racist Obama jokes. (Joking about Cindy McCain's face is politically correct.)
10. If you ever noted that his pastor acted like he was on Def Comedy Jam, you may be guilty of racist Obama jokes.
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Popular Barack Obama Jokes
Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.Q. How can you tell when Obama has been smoking dope?
A. He answers the door when the phone rings.Q. Why did Obama think that he had campaigned in 57 states?
A. His heavy pot use has left him a brownie short of a full pan.Like any experienced Chicago politician, Obama would go the cemetary to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested they just move on to the next plot. Obama angrily exclaimed, "This person has a much right to vote as anyone else here!"
Bill Clinton said, “I didn’t inhale.”
Barack Obama says, “I didn’t inject.”Richard Nixon said “I am not a crook!”
Barack Obama says “I am not on crack!”Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here!”
Barack Obama says, “Leave the bucks here!”
Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.Anagrams
President Barack Obama = Arab base, pink Democrat
President Barack Hussein Obama = A Democrat speaks inane rubbishQ. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?
A. He thinks that things go better with coke.Q. Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'Obama in '08 .' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.
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Proof that Barack is the Obamessiah
Obama preached to the multitude by the side of the lake.
Obama created new states from out of the void.
Obama turned whine into Kool-Aid® for his followers.
Obama came to us carried upon a donkey.
Obama triumphed over the beast, the enemy of all men.
Obama was stoned and yet he has risen.
Obama's flock has millions of sheep.
Obama will reign over us from a house with many rooms.
You must have no other candidates before Obama.
Obama will raise voters from the dead. Count on it.
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Vote for Barack Obama
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy doesn't want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why will Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why will Ho Chi Minh vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will David Letterman vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he's running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because she's running out of other crazy things to do.
Q. Why will Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Obama?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Will Senator Larry Craig vote for Barack Obama?
A. He'll stall first.
Q. How will Osama Bin Laden vote for Barack Obama?
A. Absentee ballot.
Q. Why will Bill Ayers vote for Barack Obama?
A. Bill thinks Obama's the bomb.
Q. Why will sharks vote for Barack Obama?
A. Professional courtesy.*********************
Obama Is So Pretty
Obama is so pretty that the new symbol of the Democrat Party will be a unicorn
Obama is so pretty that Bill Clinton wants to intern for him
Obama is so pretty that the White House Rose Garden will need to triple in size
Obama is so pretty that his anti-matter version is James Carville
Obama is so pretty that his supporters think that he's smart
Obama is so pretty that he won't ride in Ted Kennedy's car
Obama is so pretty that he would be a 10 if his Daddy owned a liquor store
Obama is so pretty that he would even look good in a Hillary pantsuit
Obama is so pretty that when he goes to Iraq he has to wear a Burka
Obama is so pretty that he gives John Edwards makeup tips
Obama is so pretty that his mirror on the wall was struck speechless
Obama is so pretty that he can wear white after labor day
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